My Immoral Immortal
by CTony
Summary: Loki reflects on his and Bartleby's time on Earth and their stupidity for trying to get back into Heaven


Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; I just loved the movie and had to write something.  
  
My Immoral Immortal  
  
Summary: Loki reflects on his and Bartleby's time on Earth and their stupidity for trying to get back into Heaven. Rated PG-13.  
  
Loki had been condemned to Hell ever since that fateful day on which he and Bartleby had attempted to reenter Heaven by going into that church in Jersey. While they were in Heaven they had heard the "myths" of Hell and the torture that all those ill-begotten souls were plagued with constantly. However none of the descriptions fully gave it justice. This wasn't simply torture, it was a constant reminder of how one's life could've been rectified. How things could have been handled better. Loki knew this first hand. It was eternally night in this dank abyss. He had suffered at the hands of thousands of demons, many of which he remembered personally, with Beelzebub cracking the whip on his back while the skin grew back again so the pain was fresh. He knew the bitter stench of charred skin and old blood. The agonized screams that percolated the domain with never ending horror. The river of blood collected from all the sin and evil on Earth had seared his skin and wracked his mind with agony for a decade. He was not even granted the amnesty to scream and vent out his suffering. Every second in which he was pained his mind wandered to his last days on Earth. It was Satan's quirky and sadistic sense of humor. He loved to remind you. He was forced to think of how he could have done things better. He remembered Bartleby's rant in the tunnel. What stung in his mind more was that after Bartleby's little speech, he had followed him. He knew that he would not, could not win a war against God, for his fallen brother Lucifer had proved that all too well. He had let Bartleby bitch him.  
  
"We're goin' home, Loki! And no one, not you not even the Almighty Himself... is gonna make that otherwise."  
  
Fuck! Why did he follow? While dwindling in Hell he could still feel the shock in his back at Bartleby slamming him into that pillar as fresh as it was all those years ago. And his words so... arrogant and sinister. "And by passing through that arch all our sins are forgiven no harm no foul." In Bartleby's eyes Loki could see the fervor and deluded, misled passion that had possessed Lucifer so many millennia ago. And now he was a demon himself serving Satan's every whim and going around on Earth wreaking havoc and mayhem time and time again. It was a close tie in to his name, which the humans called the god of mischief in Norse mythology or whatever. In Heaven the other angels had made fun of him, calling him mischief-maker and trickster. God never laughed about it though which Loki found odd since She always did have a sense of humor. Loki thought it might have been because it dealt with false gods and She hated competition. That served as a good enough answer, but know he knew that God was so omnipotent that She could see to these very eternities when he would be wandering the Earth just like Satan did in his quest for trouble when he came to the Lord and discussed Job. He had never been let back into Heaven, as Lucifer was when he spoke to God about Job. He knew he would never be back "home" again. Hell was his home now. He had thought for a long while about how even after he tried to stop Bartleby, God had still sent him to Hell. He didn't really try to stop him per se, but he had said he would take him down. He finally figured out that it was because God wasn't going to weigh his good deeds against his bad deeds. One good deed couldn't erase a bad deed (contrary to what you've heard on Home Alone 2). He had given God the finger, thrown down his sword, gave up his position, tried to get back into Heaven by killing the Last Scion, and then he had assumed a fighter's stance and told Bartleby he would "take him down". Wow! That definitely warrants being sent to Heaven. Although he constantly wondered how things would have been different if he hadn't let Bartleby convince him all those years ago and told God off in a drunken stupor, he still did his merry mischief making to the best of his abilities. He liked it, when he was on Earth, anyway, for when he returned back to the Pit he was bound and chained and plagued just as those lost souls were. It was just as much of a punishment for him as it was for them. He loved to see the light of the world when he ascended to Earth even though he knew that he would have to subject the men of the world to terrible chaos. No matter. It was still a brief escape. A short escape from the Second Death. Loki didn't dwell on how to get out of Hell like the Muse Azrael did, because he knew it was futile. He had once walked around in the streets in the dark form of his angelic armor with his horns sticking out (since demons can't transubstantiate). It was October at the time, a time when many demons exit Hell in order to breathe some fresh air. People thought he was simply testing out his "costume". He had gotten an ice- cream cone, which was a pleasure and rapture greater than anything he had experienced in years. He longed to stay there, but he had strict orders to return to Hell and prepare for mischief night. Unfortunately he stayed out about fifteen minutes late and the Morningstar cornered him in a dark alley and dragged him back to Hell where he was forced to watch several episodes of The Brady Bunch. Their happiness and jolly nature never ceased to make the damned cry and there is nothing worse than hearing a demon bawl. If he couldn't get out of such torture when committing something by accident there was no way he'd survive if he intentionally attempted to escape. He knew from Azrael. After all while he wasn't on Earth causing trouble, Loki was assigned to make sure Azrael was punished sufficiently and he always put a little extra malice into it since if it had not been for Azrael's pitiful attempt to escape, Loki would not be in Hell.  
He knew not why he had thought that sitting outside the Gates was so bad considering the alternative, which he was now forced to cope with. He had been conned. That was true, but it was his stupid decision to follow Bartleby's mad plot. He was a fool for listening to his comrade.  
  
"You have not thought about the consequences of your reentry!"  
  
Came the voice of the apostle when they were inside the train. It was like twisting the knife, which Bartleby did after he stabbed him. He now knew the consequences all too well. He was damned, he was a servant of the Prince of Darkness, and he would never gaze upon his Lord's face again. He knew Azrael's logic and he felt a strange respect come over him for Azrael, which was surprising. The Muse had had the cunning, the intelligence, and the balls (figuratively speaking) to pull of the job. It just went sour. If Bartleby had been successfully introduced into that church he would have successfully saved Loki from Hell's eternity. Although he was sentenced to wait by the Gates, the moment he decided to follow Bartleby was the moment his soul was condemned. He now knew the effect such horrors had on the delicate psyche of an angelic being.  
Please review. 


End file.
